Genre/Tags: Gay Romance (MM), PNR, Humour, Offbeat, Sweet But A Bit Dark Around the Edges *TW Mild Discussion of Blood, Some Brief On-Page Torture, Stalker(s) 

Author: Shannon Mae

Story Rating: 5 Stars

Narrator: Iggy Toma & Alexander Cendese

Narrator Rating: 5 Stars

Length: 5 hours & 51 minutes

Audiobook Buy Links: Audible

Toby

Maybe I have an overactive imagination, but the hot guy next door totally gives off serial killer vibes. Why else would he know how long it takes to bleed out from a wound? Yeah, ok, so I asked, but it was research. Being an author definitely makes for some odd questions (someone had better clear my browser history when I die, that’s all I’m saying). It’s not like I’m stalking my hot neighbor or anything—there’s nothing wrong with watching him out my window. Although I might have my own stalker (and not the cute harmless kind), which is kind of terrifying. Even if he isn’t a serial killer, maybe my seriously sexy neighbor whose eyes seem to glow red (a trick of the light, I’m sure) can help me out.

Dexter

How do you tell your cute neighbor that cutting off your fingers probably won’t cause a victim to bleed out? I don’t know if trying out Toby’s writing ideas is a good method of flirting, but there’s just something about him that calls to my hellhound. He’s adorable, awkward, and all kinds of clueless. He brings out my protective instincts, and I find myself wanting to please him, even if that means figuring out some of the answers to his rather bloodthirsty questions. When I find out Toby might actually be in danger, nothing will stop my hellhound from protecting him. He’s mine, even if he doesn’t know it, and I’ll tear apart anyone who even thinks of hurting him.

Review:

“He feels like pack to my hellhound,” I answered quietly.

Narration: I found this on Audible and listened to the sample, and that sealed the deal. I already know and very much like Iggy Toma’s work but Alexander Cendese was new to me. Both did a great job. They’re very committed to the characters. They each voiced it with the story’s vibe in mind. Their enthusiasm was incredibly catchy and really made the overall story pop.  

The Story and Characters: It’s a quirky AF book. I thought it would either devolve into the ludicrous, maybe be self-indulgent – it’s a writer writing about a character who writes in the genre they write in. Seriously, that could go badly. I hoped it would be at one with my odd sense of humour. I’m so glad it was the latter. Totally ridiculous in a fun way, making me genuinely laugh. It’s about how  Toby, a writer, and Dex, a (righteous) serial killer hellhound, develop into a relationship with a further stalkery mystery aspect in the middle. Lots of stalking in this book, to be honest. Toby’s impressed with Dex’s knowledge on murder and gore. He’s also totally hot and helps in various ways with Toby’s PNR WIP romance. Toby’s friends know they lose him to the plot of whatever his latest story is. It’s just as well they do, because when Toby goes on about his serial killer neighbour, later mentions Dex’s red eyes or flames, they believe he’s lost in plotting. Toby thinks Dex is a serial killer, calls him ‘my serial killer neighbour’ but that’s not a deal breaker because hot, helpful, and darkly unusual is clearly his type.

“You know, when I was in the yard the other day talking to my PA, I asked how long it took someone to bleed out from being stabbed in the stomach, and my neighbor was walking by, and he said, ‘It depends on the depth of the wound and the size of the blade, so anywhere from a few short minutes to days.’ And then he just kept on walking, like it was a totally normal conversation.

As you do. Dex thinks Toby is cute. The word gets a little work out, but honestly, Toby is cute. Very awkward but aware of said awkwardness and that’s part of his appeal. His friendship circle is also interesting. One of them, Sebbie, has dates where people keep dying around him and Josh seems to be in some kind of problematic relationship.           

As mentioned earlier, this book’s vibe is stalker central. It has multiple characters stalking.

1) Toby is stalking his hot serial killer/military interrogating torturer neighbour (Dex eventually gets upgraded from plain old serial killer) because he doesn’t know his name or much about him for a little while and because he’s socially awkward with a head full of characters. Even when he knows his name it’s hard to shake the monikers he’s given Dex. Dex knows Toby is stalking him. He tells his hellhound pack mate that. And that Dex also knows a lot about his neighbour’s schedule-

“Oh, he isn’t a serial killer, although he has admitted that maybe he’s a stalker,” I replied. Jude sputtered through the phone, so I added proudly, “But don’t worry, he’s only stalking me.”

Which is true. Just Dex. Hopeful, lustful stalking. They have unusual banter when they do talk. Toby is klutzy and Dex has to save Toby from himself on occasion. As things progress, most interactions end with Toby thinking something like a romance writer’s character, ‘OMG, he’s so swoonworthy. OMG, he’s total MC material.’ He also pervs on hot neighbour when the opportunity arises. One night it’s with his friends while they’re having a few drinks. He can’t wait for lawnmowing season when hot, potentially crazy neighbour will have his shirt off. Life goals.

“My god, look at those muscles,” I murmured.
“I was looking at those muscles until you elbowed me out of the way,” Sebbie grumbled.

Toby’s still working up to some ordinary communication as he’s well and truly wrapped up in his latest evil vampire story.  I think their communication, while sweet, remained random throughout. Nothing wrong with that.   

2) Dex is also stalking Toby. He can listen in on Toby’s conversations when he’s outside. Or from his house. He overhears Toby talking to himself, his PA, his friends, because intentional hellhound hearing. I mean, if the person you’re listening in on doesn’t know, well, that’s some stalking.

Jude sighed then. “Man, this is gonna be hopeless. Look, just return the hammer, and just try to… I don’t know… Be normal. Don’t talk about flaying people or dismemberment or let him know that you know when he gets coffee delivery.”

But, what’s a little mutual neighbour stalking? Dex likes Toby but isn’t sure how to interact in a ‘normal human’ way. And with Toby also awkward, it’s not impossible, it’s just a different move into their relationship for them. Dex becomes overly protective of ‘his human’. Dex asks one of his pack how he should interact, because Jude is the most human of the lot. Mind you, Jude named himself after a 60’s Beatles classic, Hey Jude, and he loves to recite lyrics from the song in conversation. Especially likes it when people say, “hey, Jude.” Hmm sidenote, I bought that record the day it was released on vinyl. I’m old. Dexter named himself after the eponymous serial killer TV series. And another pack member, Corbin, has crows hanging around him, on him, and stares off into the trees. They are so weirdly on the periphery of actually people-ing it’s awesome.   

Ah, Serial Killer Neighbor was here. Perfect. I opened the door, asking, “How much blood can a person lose before they die?”
“Depends on the human’s size,” he responded. I motioned him in, saying, “My guy is average height and weight.”

In the meantime, as Toby and Dex are getting closer, Dex is intensely into Toby which makes him growly. And, hey. Toby likes someone being intensely into him. He doesn’t mind being a dude in distress either. 

3) When Toby has a bona fide creepy, fanboy stalker who is escalating, Dex makes sure no one’s going to get close to his Toby. The stalker fan has been blocked on SM and eventually emails but finds other means. So Dex enlists the help of his other hellhound buddies/pack to help out.

Toby and Dex are cutely and weirdly perfect for one another, and I was here for it. This relationship between an awkward, shut-in writer who subsists on chips, and a hellhound who also doesn’t people well because he’s either torturing then murdering them – bad souls and all that – or he’s spent a lot of time with his found hound family. However, things move along in an oddly…odd relationship for this pair. 

Dex hasn’t long settled into Paradise Falls. He chose it because the air tells him that the soul of the town is pure. Yes, there are some other supes in town – an oracle, some demons and angels – but they don’t clash with him. As a matter of fact, the oracle, Cassius, runs a coffee shop in town. He helps rehome Dex’s, uh… strays. While there are two dogs as part of that strays thing, after he kills their bad-soul owner, overall his ‘strays’ are people. I mean, he’s a (canine) hellhound by nature so strays being people makes sense. It’s the flavour of the story. One of those strays, Q, now works with Cassius at the coffee shop. There’s this one interaction between Cassius, Q, and Toby that cracked me up, it’s so freaking random yet so on point for this book. The pack is going to be joining Dex in Paradise Falls and have bought a house two doors down from Toby. Jude, Corbin, Liam, Atlas and Dex will all be close to one another again. This gives the author a lot of hellhounds to match-up moving forward.         

Not going to lie, there are minor darker elements in this story, but the book is pretty perky overall. Mind you, I like dark-dark so a little bit of Toby torturing people before ending them is in my wheelhouse. I also enjoy fictional stalkers. Here, the bad is handled with the whole ‘they are bad people with rotten souls, the worst of the worst, so I’m doing the world a favour, and I’ll have a little fun before I dispatch them ‘ kind of way. And honestly, it’s done in a predominantly cheery manner the way the author wrote it. Kudos to Mae for walking that line well. 

And it would be remiss of me not to mention that the book has a nip of sexy as well, including knotting and hellhound tail play. I’m going to see if I can keep going with this series because the enjoyment factor with this one was high. I loved Toby and Dex. Their stalkery origins. I hope the series retains the quirky and the solid writing because it is well written, well edited, the author threw a lot of love at the characters, which I always appreciate. It was a fun. The audiobook has two narrators who complimented one another and were utterly on point. It also answered and tied up my question of mortal with immortal. Love it when that happens. Hate it when it doesn’t. Has a paranormal mine. Love it when that happens. Hate it when it doesn’t. Overall, How to Flirt with a Hellhound is fun, offbeat reading. 5 Stars!