Genre/Tags: LGBTQ Cozy Mystery

Author: Gregory Ashe

Story Rating: 5 Stars

Narrator: Andrew Gibson

Narrator Rating: 5 Stars

Length: 6 hours and 23 minutes

Audiobook Buy Links: Audible

Blurb:

We might not be doomed to repeat the past. But it’s pretty likely.

When Dashiell Dawson Dane receives a phone call from his nemesis Vivienne Carver (okay, one of his nemeses), he’s caught off guard—to say the least—by her help solve the murder of her brother, who disappeared almost thirty years ago. His gut tells him to say no. But with Bobby preparing to move out of Hemlock House, Dash sees the perfect opportunity for them to spend more time together, whether Bobby likes it or not.

The local police seem convinced that Vivienne was responsible for her brother’s death—an opinion shared by some of her family. But the more Dash investigates, the more convinced he becomes that Vivienne is being set up. Secrets have been accumulating for decades, and the most dangerous lies, Dash knows, are the ones we want to believe the most. After all these years, answers might finally be within reach—and someone is willing to kill to keep the truth from coming out.

Review: 

If you’re coming in off what I put in my review on Goodreads – while I was still listening – you’re going to wonder what the hell? with my turnabout for this book. I initially liked Again With Feeling, but then I literally dropped into a deep murky feeling of ‘disappointment.’ I just knew I couldn’t do this anymore if it kept going. No more unnecessary relational drama. I also realised that I love Dash and Bobby. Together. I needed some joy and substance between them this time. I was about 20% in?, IDK, I can’t remember, and was close to yeeting my phone. Bobby moving in with Kiefer, who’s very much like West, Bobby’s ex fiancée, a guy he’s been seeing for only a matter of weeks, it was madness.

“Really?” Fox asked over me. “Is he grieving, processing, and healing by slee—” They cut off and gave an embarrassed sidelong look at the family next to us. “By courting every eligible young man within driving distance?”

And Bobby has been busy the last month. By now, everyone knows there are feelings between Deputy Bobby Mai and Dash Dane except the pair of them. Well, this pair of avoidants know, they just won’t go there. Bobby wants love but he also feels lonely and the latter is the winner. That’s his line in the sand, people. ‘It’s better to be in relationship with someone who fits my seeming type – a sweet but shallow pool. No emotions required.’      

Dash ends up having a fight with Bobby about it. Which is a step up from “I’m fine” or “It’s okay.” Dash spits out that he cannot understand how this is helping Bobby feel better, rebounding with someone he isn’t in love with, even if Bobby refutes what Dash is saying, Dash was right. Bobby hardly knew Kiefer. Total rebound. Bobby is an adult who can do what he likes. However, it hurts Dash and that won’t fly anymore. They end up getting into it again where Bobby says Dash wasn’t picking up what he was putting down previously, that he wanted a relationship with him. Bobby hinted at it, sure, but he didn’t ever go out on a limb to be clear to Dash. Until he says, mid fight, ‘well, let’s have at it. Date me, Dash.’ Dash’s circuitry fries, and he does what he often does, he erects an anxiety-ridden wall. Because Dash doesn’t want to lose Bobby’s friendship, and what if jumping in does that? Bobby needs time to heal, but he’s moving on with Kiefer? That’s not what was supposed to occur. So yeah, a couple of fights and emotional upheaval ensue. Bobby also starts to have panic attacks. It’s primarily because Dash ends up in scary situations with cases, and Bobby, well, I’ll say it for him – Bobby loves Dash. Is fearful something will happen to Dash without ever having told him how he feels. Welcome to suppressed feelings, Bobby. 

I’m going to come back to the romance again later in my review.   

The cozy mystery: I truly enjoyed this one. It was left of centre. Vivienne Carver – Mystery Magnet – rings Dash from Oregon State Penitentiary to let him know that her brother, Richard, has just been found dead. It’s thirty years after he disappeared and from decomp he’s been dead the entire time. Vivienne is being charged with his murder, and while she has years to serve for other deaths, and she’s had at Dash as well, it’s easy to blink rapidly and ask, why would Dash entertain taking this on? Because he believes Vivienne. He doesn’t think she did it which means someone else did and he has a strong sense of justice. It’s one of the numerous things I really like about Dash. He’s kind. He’s brave, ridiculously so at times. He’s forgiving. He opens his home to his friends as a safe space. He pursues wrongs.  

Scary looking Sergey from the taco stand tells Dash, “You have heart of bear.” “You’re number one boy” when he notices Dash crying. This after it’s all too much seeing Bobby with Kiefer at the Hastings Rock sandcastle event. I loved this scene. It’s amazing when things seem overwhelming how someone can unexpectedly pop up and say something kind. Or what you need. In this case, is willing (crazily) to go into battle on your behalf- 

Sergey nodded. He patted my head again. And then he reached behind his back and pulled out an enormous knife and said, “Now, you tell Sergey: who do this?”

Meanwhile, Vivienne’s family is a hot mess sandwich. Her sister, Candy, who still lives with her father, an angry old man with a shotgun, is clearly trying to recapture her youth, and failing. All of Vivienne’s clan, in-laws, out-laws, friends, are still living in the same place they grew up, a blue collar housing estate, while Vivienne went on to conquer the writing world and bought Hemlock House. They still appear close but different people have different stories about Richard. He was much loved but fighting a lot with people before he disappeared. They also have different views on Vivienne. Dash doesn’t get too far initially but he keeps digging. Even when he’s in a serious accident. Even when something hits a nerve and Vivienne tells him to back off, he keeps digging.       

On top of this, Dash is also co-authoring a book with his ex, Hugo. It’s good to see Dash, who’s had writer’s block, being able to lean into his writing somewhat more. At first he thinks about this great opportunity Hugo is gifting him, because Hugo is a published author, to slowly being shaped by things in his real life. Meaning Dash realising he and Hugo might have originally agreed to the book’s concept but they don’t really align about what happens to the MC – Dexter Drake. That Dex would turn away when his lover is arrested because 1940s era novel. This ties into the mystery within Again With Feeling and with Dash’s growing awareness of what feels okay to him, as a human being, especially as a gay man, and what doesn’t. That he has unspoken feelings for Bobby. 

The emotionally fraught relationship between Dash and Bobby eventually gains positive momentum. The fear of losing someone you’ve never allowed yourself the chance to let know how you feel becomes pertinent for both men. I am not delusional enough to think this means smooth sailing for them but I’m happy now their relationship has more solidity. 

As the mystery unfolded in Again With Feeling, it made me very emotional. Because of how Richard died. For personal reasons. Also, I’ve had the luxury of being married for 44 years to the love of my life who has openly been able to show me everyday how much he loves me, and he does. Along the way I’ve had friends not afforded that same opportunity because of who they loved. Some of them never got the chance because AIDS. My husband and I watched our son navigate the difficulties of being obviously gay, a ballet dancer, as he grew up. Then we had the nasty and divisive Marriage Equality Referendum. This on the back of reading books, watching movies over the years where gay men were ‘allowed’ but mostly as histrionic, sad, or addicted. Dash feels this history and decides he doesn’t want this to be a perpetual cycle of misery for Dexter Drake. To not deny or second guess his sexuality and a chance at life and love, including all the multilayered aspects that come with it. Will Gower – the ‘hard-boiled’ detective that lives in Dash’s mind – would take his .38, fire some warning shots, and Dexter and Dan would be rescued in the ensuing chaos. The End. And this all fits in with the mystery. The sadness and repercussions. And it’s the impetus for feelings, vulnerability, and change. 

It’s interesting that I started this series with no expectations of having strong emotions. I figured cozy mystery, light and fun, nothing to do but sit back and listen while I did other things. More than likely I wouldn’t review any for the blog. Joke’s on me. 

Not going to lie, Again With Feelings took me a hot minute or ten to get into. I was all but out. It felt repetitive and sad. Then it all righted itself, gained momentum, felt personal, made much more sense, and I stayed up until 2am listening to the wonderful Andrew Gibson narrate the hell out of it. God, he gave this series book so much heart. I really needed it. The murder mystery may be problematic for ‘hard-boiled’ genre readers of cozy mysteries but, personally, I love what Ashe did here. The title is bang on. 5 Stars!